Answer # 5 - Woof!

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's." - Mark Twain

Dave earned 5 points yesterday for the cause. He's finished recording Chase Coy's new album for Universal - and it's with the mixing engineer, Michael Brauer, in New York at Electric Ladyland. Michael sent the following message: "Your awesome recording of Chase has made mixing this record easy.." - Since he's a multi-grammy winning engineer (Cold Play, Bob Dylan, The Stones, Paul McCartney, Ben Folds 5, John Mayer, KT Tunstall, et.al.), this is good for the studio. And then, by osmosis I suppose, good for music progress.

However, I lose 6 points because of perspective.

It happens. Some mornings I wake up, following a night of dreaming in the badlands, and my first thought is: If War, Agri-Sustenance, Ink., and Medicine are now the Big Businesses, humans are doomed to short, hungry lives of swimming in seas of blood. Hence, what the hell is the point of trying to sell records while they're dogpaddling?

Yes, this is a depressing thought. The coffee's only marginally helping because I'm not sure who picked the beans or whether or not some multi-nat'l corporate entity is forcing them to buy water from them, rather than collect it from the sky. It says 'Fair Trade' - but funny corporations have funny ways of getting around the 'rules.' It's alot of pressure, wading through the contradictions, Newspeak, and fear-proliferating bile that the god of money demands at its altar.

Surprise. Rationality in the U.S. is on the wane. Again. And I'm reminded of the famous photo of Samuel Beckett and James Joyce sitting in chairs across from each other, lost in dismay at what we are. Baffled that we can't seem to squelch enough cave gunk off our brains to see what we could become. Luckily, they didn't have to witness what we're in the midst of now - the bombastic media idiots marching lemmings to the sea, draped in flags and prayer beads. Oh hell, maybe they did. I wasn't there.

'OH-Ho', you're thinking! 'Did someone sprinkle too much grumpy on her whole wheat toast this morning?' Not on purpose, but yes. Yes she did. It's not easy to keep a grip on the hope-and- sunshine-shaker when Beckett, Haliburton and Monsanto hijack your dreamscape.

But my dog is nudging my arm. "Ride? Ride?" He's saying it with his ears, and his tail, I think. Luckily, my thoughts shift from Doublespeak to Dogspeak. I'm like that. Shiny objects. Squirrel!! You get the idea.

So, Should Dogspeak Replace Newspeak?

I'm not fluent in Dogspeak, but I get the general idea most of the time. And Newspeak is practically second nature to all of us now, though requires hefty doses of anti-anxiety, depression and sleep meds to swallow. Dogspeak, however, is a hopeful thing. Since Newspeak (based soundly on the framework of Doublespeak) requires little or no nuance, and communicates next to nothing - Dogspeak could change the world as we know it. Think of it! Meaningful communication!

For example, to perpetrate a lie would require probably no less than 100 careful subtleties & nuances, including ear twitches, secretions, and hackle-raisings. That's complicated, that is. As a bombastic politico, you'd most likely find yourself surrounded by a low-growling pack of teeth-bared constituents, should you fall back into your native tongue of Newspeak and start secreting and twitching like a Big Fat Liar.

This is just an idea. Because words aren't working so well anymore. Unless, of course, they're accompanied by a melody. [Ear twitch, nostril flare, slight smell of dandelion] Okay then. Woof.