Disconcerting. But yet, I had crap fiction to listen to, and so I did.
The Nanny Diaries.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY???
I want my 4 hours and 40 minutes back.
I MEAN I WANT MY 4 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES BACK! I WANT THEM BACK NOW! I WANT THEM BACK AND I WANT TO REWIND TIME TO THE POINT BEFORE I HEARD THE TITLE, TO THE POINT BEFORE SOMEONE AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HANDED ME THE THING AND I LOST 4 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES AND I WANT BACK THE HOURS AFTER THAT THAT I LOST TO THE STOMACH ACHE THE THING GAVE ME - THE THING THAT NEVER EVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN INSIPID HOUSE PUBLISHING.
Yes, I know, tell us how you really feel.
I'm okay with Crap Fiction if it's not pretending to be other. I had nothing else, so I popped it in - it was recently made into a movie (which I didn't see and which I'll now NEVER EVER EVER see) - and I'm a fan of Laura Linney's acting, as well as Paul Giamatti and Scarlett Johanssen - so I figured it might be worth while. They all generally pick pretty good scrips (not always, but who does?). Julia Roberts signed on to read it... so, I assumed a certain level of production quality anyway..
WRONG. Not this time. And maybe some razzle dazzle screen writer turned it into something other than a dirge for the bloody stump of miserable, filthy humanity, which is apparently all that remains of one, once one moves to an address on Park Avenue - but I don't care.
I want my 4 hours and 40 minutes back. And I want money for pain and suffering from the publisher. And I want the writers to go back to nanny-ing. And I want the whole miserable thing erased from my memory banks. It actually bit off a small piece of my soul and ate it on a water cracker. Now a small piece of my soul is gone. Eaten. I want it back.
On a lighter note, it's a beautiful day in NC - and I find that, since I don't live on Park Avenue, I actually have a renewed sense of hope and possibility!
Happy Solstice!
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Enjoy NC! I have two sisters there & nieces & nephews. As for audio books, I direct you towards ZBS media (On the web.) For thoughtful distraction of auditory art. Look through what they have and I'll give you a review (I've been picking up what they've been putting down for almost 30 years.) As far as books go I like listening to David Sedarus better than reading him, it's that NC twang that lifts up the story. Podcasts of Selected Shorts is free on iTunes as well. Terry Pratchett comes off well as you know, (Better than that T.V. adaptation they did of "Going Postal" Gad that stunk! I have it if you want to see it, be prepared to be urged towards gouging out your eyes by you brain horrified by the decimation of the fine plot lines severed like strings on a Stradivarius.) Any way.. "May the road rise up to meet you......."
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I read this book. I decided I was too old to have read it. The lessons (if you can call them that) within it I have already learned. They are lessons for young people. If you're gonna insist on crap fiction, I recommend those novels that are first edition in paperback, the kind where everybody is running around having sex with each other while trying to become famous in L.A. Those are my fave.
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