Friday, January 29, 2010

Answer #24 - Battling for Kelda

I keep thinking that somehow, this new global community will be the impetus to some form of human evolution.  Not the Darwinian kind, but the movie kind.  The Darwinian kind isn't based on best or brightest or prettiest or smartest, even, no matter what those funny Eugenics wackos thought.  Nope, survival of the fittest is currently at work in humanity.  The current fittest, however, don't look to be my own personal pick to carry the torch of the old double helix, but who am I to question the higher order?

No, I want movie evolution - the kind where, through contemplation of the errors of the past and wise foretelling of the probable future repetitions unless a course is altered [utilizing our increasingly shrinking frontal lobes..the little guys that determine consequence], enlightenment seeps in through the cracks in the gray matter, and, voila!  Jean Luc Picard is driving the ship, and at least a good chunk of the human population has stopped running around banging their heads into trees! (I mean Bud Light cans). 

You may say I'm a dreamer.  But I'm not the only one.

I think this should start by the appointment of a Wise Woman figure in every neighborhood, to solve disputes, provide guidance, and, well, offer wise counsel.  In this way, pockets of peaceful co-existence might actually come into being long enough to slow down our nearly insatiable quest for a Fiery End, blossoming into larger pockets, and then towns, cities... Maybe resulting in less government intervention, fewer police, fewer jails, viable health care, boys in pants that aren't belted mid-thigh. You see the potential trend. 

Seems to me that somewhere along the way, Wisdom (along with Intelligence, Rationality and Leadership) stopped getting pinned to the pink blankets, assigned only to the blue blankets, and, well, hundreds and hundreds of years of the metaphorical equivalent of half the human brain relegated to a dark corner to make mud pies and thumb through Cosmo (not to be confused with Cosmos), and... Oy! What a mess!

What the hell?  You only got Half a Brain?!  (Seriously, isn't this one of our most scathing insults..? let's ponder..)

So how do we go about this?

My favorite living author, Terry Pratchett, has a wise woman figure called a 'Kelda.'  She wields a tremendous amount of power, but wisely, along side the 'Big Man.'  She is a sage and maternal figure to a gigantic hive of 'Feegles' - red-headed, blue-tattoed pixies that drink and fight and steal cows and things - and she doesn't begrudge them their nature or the spoils of their campaigns, but neither does she let them torch the Feegle Hill nor the hills of others, profit off of or steal from the sick, profit from the sale of weapons inscribed with Bible verses, or torture living things in the name of gold or God.

Sadly, Keldas, in Pratchett's world, are born to it.  Since we are neither pixies nor entirely fictional, we'll need a different plan.  A reality TV show might work - 'Battling for Kelda' maybe.  Set it up in every neighborhood across the country: A televised series of tests of skill, cunning, and wit, with teams in matching shirts with lots of candid and sentimental interview segments between challenges.

And then we could, by thoughtful question, choose the true Keldas from the group of women that did not show up for the auditions.

Just a thought.


  1. Well, that's a good plan, because there's no way in hell I would ever show up for an audition.

  2. You will always be my Kelda, and the world is a better place for it.

    Your Big Man

  3. Keldas come from a tribe different that the one they were raised (No inbreeding.) And, sadly are the only women in the group; The big man gets to be with the kelda and the rest of the tribe get balls bluer than the rest of their body. Not suggesting there's anything wrong with your plan, I'm just sayin' there something not quite right with Pratchett's "Pictsies". I'm all for the wisdom of women and would love to see greater evidence of woman's judgment in community and world affairs; Less of the patterns of the pater and more of the matter of the mater if you get my drift.To quote the recently departed Mary Daley "As long as God is male the male will be God." My thought is that there is a metaphorical wheel that stears the ship of humanity and there are all of these groups and individuals who feel deeply that they know, absolutely know, which way we should be going. All of these hands on the wheel keep us lurching here and there, fore and aft. A phrase I picked up in my readings keeps coming back to me, "There is no future, just spin control." By that the writer meant that we no longer can see the future the way previous generations could, the change in the rate of change makes it impossible to project what our children will be facing.And, as much as I love democracy, by that I mean I hope to see it one day, I don't see it as a viable form of government of the future. This "Ship of state" is to unwieldy to make the kind of quick course corrections that are called for in this spinning world; And now that corporations are legally recognized as "People" that just adds more hands to the wheel. Chessley

  4. I'm with you on the fact that we are not pixies (although, who knows, there might be some among us), but are you absolutely positive that we aren't entirely fictional? I mean really, how would one know?

  5. Jean Luc Picard is sexy.

  6. Corporations have, to an increasing degree, been considered people since 1889. So, this is not so new. The "spin" of the world is perceptual, so believing democracy has no future means democracy will have no future. Turn off the television, ignore the corporate news, and spend some time watching the grass grow and the seasons change. Only our illusions of what this world is are changing and we show more faith in illusions than the slow, steady Earth. "It is a wise man knows his own Father," as the saying goes. Faith in a Christian God is faith in that for which there is no evidence. It is the basis of the religion. Believing in that which cannot be proved (paternity). But we all know who our mothers are. Witnesses see us depart the womb. Pretty hard to get fooled on that one. All of which is to say, quit believing the flickering lights of television, the empty words of newspapers and listen to your Mother. The Earth may be spinning, but she does not "spin".


Comment and I swear I'll read it.